Shattered Lives and Broken Hearts
by RobertDowneyJrLove
Summary: On HIATUS!
1. One Month

**Shattered Lives and Broken Hearts **

**Summary: It's been a month, Cindy's in the hospital fighting for her life, Jackson won't slow down, Melissa's become a workaholic and Johnny, well Johnny's just caught in the cross fire. When Cindy's condition becomes a matter of life or death, lives shatter and hearts are broken. Now with Cindy in a doctor induced coma, Jackson, Melissa and Johnny realize it may be time to let her go. **

Chapter One: One Month

Let's take a little look back shall we?

_He stood up and held out his hand "Now come on, beautiful, time for bed" _

_Cindy nodded and stood up to go with her husband. They walked to bed, not knowing what the future was going to hold but also knowing that whatever happened they were gonna be there for each other, no matter what._

That, was exactly one month ago. Melissa Wu, Cody Jackson, Johnny Jackson, and Cindy Jackson were all certain of their futures until they were thrown for a loop, when Cindy announced she had breast cancer. Now, one month later, life has taken a whole new and slightly hellish route. Cindy was admitted to Sun Heart Memorial just a week after she told Jackson and Melissa and is now undergoing chemotherapy and is fighting for her life. Jackson refuses to slow down, if he's not practicing with his band, he's with his mom, and is slowly pulling away from Melissa. Melissa has yet to notice what her boyfriend is doing as she spends most of her time at the hospital. Johnny, well Johnny's just caught in the cross fire of the hell he's currently calling his life, although if her condition is any indication, Cindy's life is a little more hellish than his at the moment.

They're slowly pulling apart, but when it comes to the decision, keep Cindy alive through tubes and wires, or let her go, Johnny, Jackson and Melissa's lives slowly shatter and when it comes down to the fact that it may not be a choice they have to make, hearts are broken. Can this dysfunctional and makeshift family pull together before Cindy's life or death situation forces them together?

Melissa Anne Wu was completely and totally exhausted. Her shift had changed from late afternoons to late nights, and she had found herself unable to keep up with her awkward hours. She was positive the toilet had seen more of her than her patients had-or at this point, her bed. She barely had time to rush home when she got off from work to take a nap before she was up and taking care of things around the apartment. Jackson had been dividing most of his time between the hospital and his band practices which he had three times a week and had yet to notice what was going on with his girlfriend.

"Mel!" Kristina Gonzales called from outside the door. When the only response she got was what sounded like a weak cough, she carefully slid under the stall and found her friend wretching into the toilet, her petite body shaking violently.

She opened the door and ran to get some paper towels. Turning the sink on, she quickly dampened some paper towels with cold water before turning it off, wringing the towels out and rushing back to her vomiting friend. Melissa was tired, her body was wearing down and the liquid she was throwing up was slowly turning clear. Kristina knew that any more puking would cause serious damage to her esophagus and stomach lining and she knew that's when Melissa would be really sick.

"Good Grief, Mel!" Kristina muttered, holding the cool towels to her friend's sweaty and flushed face.

Kristina couldn't believe the shape Melissa had let herself wear down into. Her eyes were blood shot, sunk back in her head, and the heavy bags under them had turned the skin under her eyes a rather nasty shade of blackish-purple. Her ribs were showing through her t-shirt and she looked as if she had worn down in a matter of hours instead of the month it had taken for this to occur.

"Jesus, Mel!" Kristina muttered as her friend finally finished and fell against her. "What in the world happened?"

She shoved her hand into her purse and emerged with her cell phone. Dialing the front desk number, she quickly alerted them of her location, the situation she was in and the doctor that would be of proper assistance to them.

"Nurse Gonzales?" Dr. Craig Schafer called walking into the room, "What seems to be the problem?"

"My friend. She's exhausted, malnourished and dehydrated. I need a stretcher." Kristina explained, "An I.V. of fluids and a hospital gown."

Dr. Schafer immediately ushered in a stretcher and gave orders to the nurse who would be taking care of Melissa. Kristina watched as they loaded her sick friend up onto the stretcher and wheeled her away to a room to give her the proper medical care. While her friend was being taken care of, Kristina grabbed her back and made her way to the front desk.

"Annie, hand me a phone please and dial Cody Jackson's number, he needs to know about his girlfriend." Kristina requested of the receptionist.

Once the receptionist had connected her, Kristina could have strangled the phone when it went straight to voicemail and all she heard was his voice telling her to leave her name and number and he'll call her back, even though she knew he wouldn't.

"Hi Jackson, You idiot, you better have a friggin' awesome reason why you didn't answer your stupid phone. When you get this, you might want to rush to the hospital, your girlfriend's been admitted and I could be wrong but I get the sneaking suspicion you had no idea what was going on." Kristina growled into the phone.

She handed the phone back to the receptionist and made her way to the elevator. Storming into the elevator angrily, she jabbed the button and waited with as much impatience as she had when it came her best friend's boyfriend. She stormed through the second floor until she reached Cindy Jackson's room.

"Hi Johnny." Kristina greeted sweetly, "Do you have a way of contacting your arse-hole of a son?"

"Oh boy, what has my asinine son done to Melissa? He's already in to deep to even dream of getting out alive." Johnny grumbled as he led Kristina to the hallway.

"Melissa's been admitted because of malnourishment, dehydration and exhaustion and your arse of a son is being difficult." Kristina told him.

Johnny rolled his eyes, "He must be with that stupid band of his."

"Let me try again." Kristina sighed, dialing her best friend's boyfriend's number.

"Hey You've reached Cody Jackson, I can't come to the phone right now, leave your name and number and I'll get back to you." His voicemail answered almost immediately.

"Cody Richard Jackson, I swear to high heaven boy if you don't answer this phone the next time I call, I'm coming after your sorry asinine self." Kristina snapped, much to Johnny's amusement.

Johnny chuckled as she hung up, "Why don't you go get Melissa's paperwork figured out? I'll try to contact my son."

Kristina nodded as she shoved her phone back in her purse and started back down the hall while Johnny went to check on his wife and try to contact his arse of a son. He loved his son but Jackson could be almost completely oblivious to the world around him sometimes.

"Hey, what was all that about?" Cindy asked drowsily, the chemotherapy session earlier having drained most of her energy.

"Melissa was admitted to the hospital and no one can get ahold of our son." Johnny filled his wife in on the new events.

"What was wrong?" Cindy asked him.

"She's exhausted, dehydrated and malnourished." Johnny told her softly.

"And Jackson's no where to be found. I love the boy but I swear he lives in his own little bubble sometimes." Cindy sighed shaking her head.

Johnny laughed as he sat down in a chair and gently took his wife's frail hand into his much larger, stronger hand. In all honesty, Cindy was pale, constantly feverish and so weak she could barely move but to Johnny, she was just as beautiful, as the day they met.

* * *

**Yo Party People! Yea, I spend too much time with my sister, sue me! So between a stomach virus, a Friday night out with aforementioned sister and my cousin, and then that same cousin's wedding the next night, I've been pretty busy, in between that, I'm wrapping up school for Christmas break, trying to Christmas shop and in between all of this, I'm trying to fit sleep in-so far it hasn't quite worked out the way I want it to-but I was sick part of last week, frustrated the last part and creeped out last weekend! Sue me! After the week I've had, fanfiction is just what I need. **

**Melissa & Joey and Human Target are two categories I'm currently experimenting with, but my "test tube" if you will, will always be Jackson and Melissa. Not to fret my fanfiction pets, I'm not gone forever. **

**Love you foreva and a day, **

**RobertDowneyJrLove**


	2. Jackson's Worry

Chapter Two: Jackson's worry

_"...It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now..." Lady Antebellum _

Jackson looked at his phone for the thousandth time as he drove to the hospital. Ever since he had gotten Kristina's...threatening message earlier, he hadn't been able to get out of band practice fast enough for his liking, because his band mates had been, shall we say stupid. They had had to redo the song three times, and even when he told them Melissa was sick, they still insisted she would be fine, and that they had to finish it. Mumbling more than a few obscenities that were in no way appropriate, and may or may not have had something to do with his thoughts of how he could kill his bandmates and make it as painful and as slow as possible. After letting out a string of obscenities that, while not appropriate, were not related to the death of his band mates and directed more towards the stupid traffic that just got worse everytime he went through it, he pulled into the hospital parking lot only to let out another obscene yell when he couldn't find a place to park.

"Kristina, I swear, if there is a way to physically throw someone into the fiery pits of that nightmare we call hell, I'm doing it" Jackson mumbled as he power walked through the hospital

When he finally found her, he was not expecting the slap he received, upside his head.

"Ow geez Kristina, what the-" He was about to say something but Kristina slapped him on his head again

"That is for abandoning your girlfriend" Kristina snapped

Jackson stared at her in disbelief "Kristina Louise Gonzales you did not accuse me of abandoning my girlfriend, when she's been here so much I barely see her anymore, so don't blame me"

Kristina just shook her head and swung her hand, connecting it with Jackson's cheek. Jackson grabbed his stinging jaw and stared at her in disbelief.

"Kristina Louise Gonzales" Jackson growled angrily before storming out and into Melissa's room

The minute his blue eyes found her, he could have sworn someone had just ripped his heart out of his chest.

"Sweetheart" He whispered walking over to the bed

He growled in frustration at his completely obliviousness "Why the hell didn't I see this?"

"Because I didn't even see it" Kristina admitted from the door "I had no right to slap you or accuse you of abandoning her when I didn't even see what was right in front of me"

"It's not your fault and in all honesty I deserved that slap" Jackson confessed to her "That's one hell of an arm you've got"

"Does it still hurt?" Kristina asked him

"Nah, I've been slapped before, my ex-girlfriend slapped me more when we were together than she did when I told her we were over" Jackson laughed

"I still feel bad, I hit my best friend's boyfriend" Kristina sighed

"Think nothing of it" Jackson mumbled, staring at Melissa

He wasn't sure how long he sat there staring at her but before he knew it, it was midnight and Kristina had set up a cot for him. His girlfriend was sick, and he wasn't about to give up on her now.

* * *

The next day, he grabbed his cell phone and sent a text to his bandmates.

_My best friend/girlfriend is in the hospital, not coming, can't deal with it, well then I quit _

Jackson smiled softly when he noticed Melissa was smiling in her sleep. Kristina had told him sometime during his sleepless night that they had come in later and basically put her in a coma by giving her a heavy sedative that would allow them to rehydrate her without her protests. Jackson knew Melissa hated having a needle in her arm and she just hated needles in general.

"I hope they let you wake up soon sweetheart, I'm having a hard time here without you. I never realized how much I missed you until I walked in and saw you here in this bed, in a medically induced coma. I need you here with me baby girl" Jackson murmured "Mom's doing okay, Kristina's her nurse now, until you're well enough to go back to work. Dad's been with her the whole time. They miss you baby, they can't wait to see you again"

"I can't wait to see you again. Babe, you're my world, my life, and if I have to spend the rest of my life telling you that than I will because you are my world baby. You taught me about life. You taught me how to stop being a stubborn a-hole and act like a man. I need you here with me babe, I love you to much to let you go now, you have to come back to me babe" Jackson whispered in her ear

Kristina, who had been listening outside the door, wiped a tear from her eye as she whispered "She will Jackson, she will"

* * *

**I know the ending is kind of abrupt and emotional, but I wanted it like that, mainly because I'm fighting writer's block!**


	3. Days Go By

Chapter Three: Days Go By

"..._Been far away, for far too long..." Nickelback _

The next four days went by like a whirlwind and Melissa had been taken off of the sedative that kept her asleep while they rehydrated her body, but she had yet to wake up. Jackson knew Melissa had to wake up on her own, but he couldn't help but wonder if her coma wasn't so medically induced anymore.

"....Been far away for far too long" He sang quietly into her ear as he smoothed her black hair away from her face

He had been like that for three days, singing to her, talking to her, occasionally going down to the gift shop to buy her flowers or some other silly pointless that he knew Melissa would keep just because he gave it to her.

"Hey babe, it's been four days now, and I'm starting worry about you. Mom's not doing that great anymore, the chemo is starting to wear her down. Dad said she broke down the other day because she lost her hair. Dad doesn't think she has the strength to fight anymore, I'm worried about her too. I know if you were here, you would probably be saying that we shouldn't worry so much, but Mel I don't think my mom has much longer, I really don't, and I don't think I have the strength to let her go" Jackson sobbed into Melissa's soft black hair

He sat up when he felt Melissa's hand squeeze his own, and when he looked up, he was looking into her sweet brown eyes.

"Mel" Jackson breathed shooting up from his chair

"Hey Jackson" Melissa rasped reaching up to brush his cheek "Hey, please don't cry"

"I'm sorry, I just" Jackson tried

"Hey hey, I'm fine, and as for your mom, I have a feeling she will be too" Melissa rasped

Jackson pulled away and immediately poured her some water "Here, drink this"

He helped her sit up and drink some of the cold water.

"Thanks, so now tell me, what exactly makes you think your mom is dying? babe, if she's weak, it's the chemo, it'll take the energy out of her, and she won't feel good, but it's not killing her. If she's tired, it's only a side effect, you'd be surprised how much energy it takes to sit still and let an I.V pump chemotherapy into your veins, she'll be tired and she may seem like she doesn't have the energy, but your mom is an amazing woman, she's fought harder than any woman I've ever met, and I'll bet it's just the chemo starting to take her energy, once she's off the chemo and she starts the radiation, she'll get her energy back" Melissa explained

"But what if she?" Jackson tried but found Melissa's finger over his lips

"No, I will not listen to you talk like that" Melissa told him sternly "Listen to me Cody Jackson, and listen to me good because I will only say this once. Your mother is one of the strongest people I know, and she has two guys who love her so much, she's not going to die, push those thoughts from your head and get a grip"

Jackson sighed and nodded "Okay"

"Good, now c'mere, it's been far to long since I've been kissed" Melissa smiled pulling him closer

Jackson laughed as he leaned forward and kissed her lips.

Melissa was awake, and hopefully his mom would be fine.

* * *

**I like the chapter but the ending kind of sucked, but fight writer's block for a week and then tell me if you can come up with something better! **

**BTW: New Fave couple, Nick/Macy from JONAS **

**Anyway, goodbye dolls!**


	4. Life Support

"Hello" Jackson mumbled into his cell phone the next morning, ready for some more sleep after the long day yesterday

"Jackson" His dad's strained voice came over the phone "Hey buddy, I've got some news, it's about your mom"

"Dad" Jackson sat up, noticing that his dad had called him buddy, something he hadn't done since Jackson was ten "What's wrong with mom?"

"Your mom took a turn for the worse last night" Johnny explained "Son, they put her on life support"

"Life support?" Jackson mumbled "But-"

"Jackson, the doctor's said that the chemo took to much out of her, it was either put her on life support or let the chemo finish killing her, and I wasn't going to have that" Johnny explained firmly "Do not question me son or the doctors, I only know what they told me, it was either put her on life support or let the chemo kill her"

"I'll be down there in ten minutes, I've got to get some of Melissa's stuff together" Jackson explained

"Okay I'll see you then" Johnny sighed softly

Jackson hung up his phone and in one violent throw, the phone collided with the wall across from the bed and fell to the ground in pieces. He shook his head as he grabbed a bag and packed some stuff for Melissa. After he was done packing he headed for the hospital.

* * *

"Hey Sweetheart" Jackson greeted wearily coming into the room, with her bag

"Hey babe" Melissa smiled softly, but stopped when she noticed the look on his face "babe?"

"Sweetheart, my dad called this morning" Jackson started, sitting beside her on the bed "The chemo started taking too much out of her, they had to put her on life support"

"Oh no" Melissa sighed sadly "And just yesterday"

"No no, sweetheart, it's not your fault, neither one of us could have predicted this" Jackson reassured her taking her face in his hands

He leaned and captured her lips with his, taking all the comfort he could from the kiss.

"Go" Melissa whispered when they pulled back "Go be with your mom, she needs you right now"

"But" Jackson tried to argue

"No arguing, now get upstairs to your mother, look I get out today, as soon as they release me, I'll come up to see her, but right now she needs you more than I do" Melissa told him softly

He kissed one more time before finally conceding and leaving the room to go see his mom. The elevator ride seemed to take forever, at least to Jackson, who was impatiently shifting from left to right, in hopes the elevator would speed up. When the elevator finally stopped and opened, he practically ran out and ran through three different corridors before finally finding his dad in the hallway.

"Dad" Jackson called running up to him

Johnny stood up to greet his son "Son, the doctors just gave me some news on your mom"

"What is it Dad?"

* * *

**Dun dun dun...what did the doctor's say, ha, I'm not telling!!!!! The next chapter comes as soon as you...click on the arrow, lol! What I'm not a comedian? **


	5. The Choice

**A/N: If you listen to A Little Bit Longer by the Jonas Brothers or Far Away by Nickelback, this chapter's a little easier to understand, because I was listening to those two songs and they really inspired this chapter. **______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"What is it Dad?" Jackson asked concerned "Dad?"

Johnny looked at his son. "They said that after three weeks they'll take her off of life support"

Jackson stared at his dad in disbelief "What?"

"They said that after three weeks, not only will they take her off of life support but we'll have no choice in the matter" Johnny told his son

"They can't do that" Jackson yelled "No they can't"

Johnny grabbed his son's shoulders and shook him "Listen to me son, okay just listen to me, they can, okay we have a choice to make"

"Then make it without me" Jackson snapped pulling out of his dad's grip "Make it the hell without me, I'm not having anything to do with this, if you want to kill my mother than go ahead, but I won't be apart of that decision, go ahead and make that choice, but don't expect me to help you, because I'm not doing it"

Johnny sighed as he watched his son run down the corridor, his brown eyes filling with tears at the thought of having to either keep his wife alive or let her die. The more he thought about it, the more it killed him to think about it, and the more he thought maybe his son was right.

"Cindy what am I going to do?" Johnny murmured, needing his wife, but knowing they would soon have a choice to make regarding that very woman

Johnny walked into his wife's room and glanced at her. Her blonde hair was gone, her shimmering blue eyes were closed, her skin was pale and you could see every vein in her body. Tubes came out of every part of her body, one to keep her heart going, one to keep her blood pumping, and so on. He couldn't stand to see her like this.

"Hey sweetheart" Johnny murmured walking over to her "I don't know if you can hear me or what, but I want you to know, that I'm not going to give up on you, I love you too much to ever let you go baby. Jackson's upset, but I'm sure he'll talk to Melissa and be back later. That girl's got him wrapped around her little finger, but she's good for him. I hope they get married one day Cinde, she's such a sweetheart. I hope you can pull through this, I know you're tired and I know you need your rest, but babe, please wake up soon, I don't know what I would do if I lost you"

Johnny stroked the top of his wife's frail hand as he watched her sleep. He knew in his heart that she wasn't sleeping, he knew she was in a coma. She would be until he made his choice, but what he didn't know was how he was supposed to go through this, how he was supposed to either let the person he loved most in this world die or keep her alive as a "vegetable" as the doctor's so eloquently put it. Even if she did manage to pull through, the chances of her ever living a normal life were slim, and he didn't know if he was willing to let her go through that. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jackson frowned as he walked into Melissa's hospital room. He found her sitting up in bed, writing in a notebook. He watched her for a few minutes before walking over to her and stroking her hair to get her attention. She looked up at him and smiled until she noticed his blue eyes shimmering with tears.

"Babe, what happened? What's wrong?" Melissa asked him softly reaching up to touch his cheek

"My dad told me that after three weeks, they'll take my mom off of life support unless we make a choice. We have three weeks to decide whether she lives or dies" Jackson told her softly

Melissa sighed as she reached over to him and grabbed his hand.

"I can't be apart of that decision, I cannot help my dad decide whether my mom lives or dies" Jackson told her

"Listen to me alright, don't say anything, just shut up and listen to me. I don't know why they're suddenly deciding that after three weeks they can take someone off of life support, they can't, at least not that I'm aware of. Babe, whether you want to or not, you have to help, she's just as important to you as she is to your dad, and you know he's not going to decide without you, you know that. Are you really going to let the doctor's take her off life support when it wasn't your decision? Babe this may not be a decision you want to make, but it's one that will be made whether you want it to be or not. I know you want your mom to stick around, I know that, I get that, but for the love of all things that good and pure, stop being selfish, grow up, and think of what your mom would want, not what you want. I know, I'm being harsh, but I'm not the one who needs his butt kicked" Melissa told him

Jackson sighed as what she had just said sank in.

"I know what I need to do" Jackson told her

"Good, now hopefully Kristina can spring me out of here, and I'll come see her, alright?" Melissa asked him

"Yea, okay, I'll see you later" Jackson nodded leaning forward to kiss her

They kissed until the need for oxygen forced them to part. They were both breathing heavily, and the kiss, although he enjoyed it, did nothing to brighten his mood. He didn't think anything would brighten his mood. He had a choice to make whether he liked it or not. He ran out of the room and rode the elevator back up to the floor his mom was on and ran back down the corridor, to his dad who was sitting in a chair outside the room.

"I'm sorry, I was being a selfish jerk" Jackson sighed as he sat down next to his dad

"It's alright" Johnny told his son

"Thank God for Melissa" Johnny mumbled so his son couldn't hear

"Mel said she would try to come up later" Jackson told him quietly

Nothing else was said, as father and son sat in chairs outside of Cindy Jackson's hospital room. They both knew what this choice would entail, and they both knew the consequences of this choice. How could they let go of the only woman they had ever known, who had loved them unconditionally, who had been there for them through it all. Who had been there even when Jackson couldn't get his act together? When Johnny needed someone to get him through his father dying. How were they supposed to survive without their rock?

"Hey guys" A soft voice greeted an hour later

Jackson looked up, straight into warm brown eyes of Melissa "Hey Mel"

He reached up and grabbed her hips, pulling her down onto his lap.

"I see Kristina sprung you out of the place" Jackson murmured pressing a soft kiss to her neck

Melissa nodded and let her head fall on Jackson's shoulder.

"Guys, I know you think this choice is going to be impossible, and it probably is, but you have to think of what Cindy would want" Melissa advised "It won't be easy and you won't like it, but all in all you have think of what's best for Cindy"

Johnny nodded and turned to look at the door of his wife's hospital room, despair shone in his deep brown eyes.

"What am I going to do?" Johnny murmured

Melissa stood up, kissed Jackson on the cheek and then turned to Johnny "C'mon, take a walk with me"

Johnny nodded and stood up, taking Melissa's offered hand. They walked out of the hospital and Melissa led him to a garden, that was in the back of the hospital.

"When I was thirteen, my grandmother was dying, in fact, she was in the exact same position that Cindy was in now, dying of the same cancer. I didn't want her to die, in fact I wanted to keep her around for as long as she would stay" Melissa told him quietly as they walked around the garden "My aunt, Angie, gave me some advice. She told me that even though we might want them to stay, they might not want to stay"

"So while we might want her to stay, Cindy might just want to let go?" Johnny asked her

"Hmm, yea, but there's more to it, see it's not just about her wanting to let go, it's about you and Jackson letting her go. Letting go is never easy, and it hurts, I'm not saying you have to let her go, you can do whatever you want to do. I am saying that this isn't just a choice you have to make about Cindy, this is about how you think Cindy would think for you. Imagine if you were in the same position, what would Cindy do for you"

"She'd probably tell me that she loves me, but that ultimately she had to let me go" Johnny sighed

Melissa nodded and smiled sadly "Cindy is a phenomenal woman Johnny and I can see why you would want her to stick around, but there is more to letting her go, than just taking her off of life support, it's about being willing to break that strong emotional bond that ties you too together. Remember your vows, till death do us part. That's not entirely true, you won't have that same emotional bond that you had when she was living, but she'll always be in your heart Johnny, that's something you can never change. Whatever you decide, you can never change what's in your heart. Cindy and your love for her. You'll always have some sort of connection to her, whether it be a spiritual connection or a memory, something will always tie you two together whether she's here or not. I'm going to tell you right now, you have another choice, you can either let this choice tear you away from your son, or you can let it bring you closer, because what I just told him in my hospital room isn't going to stick around. He's going to need a little extra kick in the rear"

Johnny nodded and turned to Melissa "Thank you"

Melissa nodded "It's what I do"

Johnny let Melissa lead him back into the hospital.

* * *

**Did I make you cry? If I did, it means that this chapter was my first tear jerker! REVIEW!**


	6. Two weeks, One Goodbye

_Two Weeks Later, Sunday Morning...._

It's been two weeks since Johnny was told he would have to make a choice, now they all just sit around the hospital staring into nothing. Jackson hasn't let go of Melissa in over two days, and Johnny's been staring blankly at the wall across the corridor. Cindy lay inside of a hospital room, hooked up to the machine that kept her alive. She was basically a vegetable. In a vegetative state, they didn't know if she could hear them so they never talked.

"I think we should let Mom and Dad take her back to Indiana, where she can be treated by real doctors" Jodi, Cindy's sister started snootily, having come down from Indiana just that Friday "They offered to pay for the whole thing"

"No, she's not going back to Indiana, she has a son here, and I'm here, I'm not shipping her to another state just show she can lay up there in a vegetative state, better she do it here where people actually care enough to actually know what's going on with her" Johnny snapped

The doctor came out of Cindy's room, after checking her vital signs "Mrs. Jackson's vitals are showing no signs of improvement and I have another matter to discuss with you. I have been sent a request from Ms. Smith here, to have Mrs. Jackson transferred to an Indiana hospital, and I have made my decision as to whether or not I will honor that decision. At this time, or any time in the future, it is not safe nor is it necessary for Mrs. Jackson to travel to another state, and I have conferred with the Indiana hospital, Mrs. Jackson would be transferred to, and they would not do anything different than what I am doing for her down here"

Jodi's brown eyes hardened "Are you sure doctor?"

"Positive, Mrs. Jackson is perfectly fine where she is at. The matter is up for no further discussion" Dr. Brenda Evans told Jodi firmly "I have conferred with Mrs. Jackson's parents, and after much consideration, they have decided that Mrs. Jackson is perfectly fine where she is at."

Dr. Evans walked off, leaving without further discussion on the transfer of Cindy to Indiana. Johnny watched as Jodi stood up and walked off with her nose in the air. Jackson and Melissa sighed as she walked off.

"Thank goodness, that woman annoys me" Johnny murmured standing up "I'm going in"

He walked into Cindy's room and over to her bed. "Hey Sweetheart, I have no idea whether you can here me or not but you're not going anywhere. Seems your parents and sister wanted to have you transferred to a hospital in Indiana, but the doctor has decided that it isn't safe"

He stopped talking and just stared at her. Most of her beautiful blonde hair had fallen out, her skin was ghost white, she ran a permanent fever, and she was so thin, you could barely find her under the blankets and the tubes that kept her alive.

As he continued to stare at her, the realization hit him like a ton of bricks. "I have to let her go"

He gently placed her hand back on the bed, tears stinging his dark brown eyes as he stepped out of the hospital room.

"I've made my decision" Johnny muttered to Jackson and Melissa as he sat down

"What is dad?" Jackson asked him

Johnny looked up and met his son's bright blue eyes, a trait obviously inherited from his mother. "Son, it's time to let go of your mom. She's laying there in a vegetative state, she'll probably never recover, it's time to let her go son"

Jackson sighed as tears immediately stung his bright blue eyes "I know, I think I always knew that, it just never seemed like the right choice until now"

"I'll go get the doctor" Melissa murmured standing up and leaving the corridor to find Dr. Evans

Johnny walked over to his son, and sat down next to him "I don't want to let her go anymore than you do, but I know this is what she would want"

Melissa came back a few minutes later with Dr. Evans.

"I hear you have made your decision" Brenda asked Johnny

Johnny stood up to face the doctor and brown eyes met green "I want to take her off of life support, it's not doing her or us any good to leave her there like that, I need to let her go"

"Alright, if that is what you want. I'll go gather the necessary paperwork, and I must ask that you take the proper time to say goodbye, and if necessary think about this a little more" Brenda told him

"Thank you Dr. Evans" Johnny shook her hand before she headed back down the corridor to get the necessary paperwork

Johnny looked at Jackson and Melissa and nodded softly. They all went into the hospital room and gathered around Cindy's bed.

"Hey Mom, it's Jackson" Jackson spoke first "Remember as a kid, when I would have a nightmare, you would tell me to dream about one day flying with the angels? You used to tell me that the angels could make it all better. Now it's my turn, fly with the angels mom, they can make it all better again. Goodbye Mom, I love you"

Melissa and Johnny watched as he kissed his mom's pale, hot forehead and backed away.

"Hey Cindy" Melissa murmured holding Cindy's hand "I really didn't know you that well but I wish did, you were such a sweet woman, and I'm going to miss you dearly. Goodbye Cindy"

Melissa backed away and let Johnny move closer to Cindy.

"Hey Sweetheart, I can't say much because I think if I did, I would talk myself out of this, but I can't do that. I can't see you suffer anymore Cinde, I have to let you go. It's time for me to let go, I'm never going to forget you and I'm never going to stop loving you. I promise. I love you baby, goodbye Cindy" Johnny was nearly crying by the time he finished as he kissed her hand one last time before turning to Dr. Evans who was just coming in the door

Jackson and Melissa stood holding each other as Johnny took the clipboard from the doctor and started filling out all of the necessary forms. By the time he had the last page signed, he was openly crying. When he finished, he brokenly handed the clipboard back to Dr. Evans. She took the clipboard and moved over to Cindy. She removed the tubes from Cindy's mouth and nose, removed the needle from her arm and finally, she removed the only thing that kept Cindy alive.

"That's it, her heart will slowly stop beating" Dr. Evans whispered sadly as she moved out of the door to give them some privacy

Johnny, Jackson and Melissa all watched as the heart monitor slowed down until finally flat-lining.

Cindy Jackson was gone.

* * *

**Alright first of all I don't want to hear a single word about Johnny or Jackson crying because men cry, whether or not they'll admit it. Secondly, if you needed tissues, I feel your pain, I held back tears through this whole chapter. **


	7. Aftermath

**Before I go into this chapter, I'm going to establish Cindy's family a bit more. **

**Joseph Allan Smith-Her Father **

**Emily Esther Smith-Her Mother **

**Jonathan Edgar Smith-Her Uncle **

**Ruth Esme Smith-her Aunt **

**Jodi Leigh Smith-Creighton-Her sister **

**Devon Mitchell Creighton-Her brother-in-law **

* * *

Johnny Richard Jackson was tired, grieving and strangely enough, energized. He wanted this to be perfect for Cindy, even if she wasn't here. He had made a list of her favorite songs, gathered all the necessary information to compile an obituary that would be run in both the California newspaper that she loved to read and the Indiana newspaper that her parents read, as per their request. He had chosen the casket she would be buried in. The casket was a beautiful mahogany with a baby pink satin lining. Cindy would be wearing her favorite baby blue summer dress, with no shoes.

"...Alright...No Jodi, I'm sorry, shall I send you the program?" Johnny questioned her sister who as usual had made an excuse not to attend "Alright, I'll have a program sent to you...no....I'm sorry Jodi, but that won't be necessary...alright bye Jodi"

Johnny sighed as he hung up the phone, placed it back in the receiver and walked into the kitchen. He glanced around the kitchen of Melissa's apartment. It was a small kitchen accented with a few colorful but tasteful pieces, the kind of kitchen Cindy would have loved. He opened the fridge, located the pitcher of iced tea and took it out to pour himself a glass. He filled a cup with ice, poured some iced tea into it before putting the pitcher back in the fridge.

"...Mom, I'm sorry but I'm not coming home this weekend, or any weekend for that matter" Melissa snapped into her red cell phone as she made her way into the kitchen

She snapped her phone shut and sat down at the counter. She had been wearing the same pair of dark purple sweats for two days, a black t-shirt and a white half-hoodie type thing with three quarter sleeves. Her hair was pulled up into an oily knot.

"Jackson's in the shower, and then it's my turn" Melissa told him softly "How's it coming?"

"Jodi, Joseph, Emily and Devon have all backed out" Johnny sighed sadly "They're not coming. Jonathan and Ruth, I don't think their coming."

"That's wrong" Melissa sighed

"Yea but it's their choice" Johnny sighed softly

Melissa sighed as she watched Johnny shuffle around the kitchen. The two Jackson men were like lost puppies, without Cindy, they were lost and had no clue what to do. She grabbed a notebook and opened it to a clean page. She grabbed a pen and held both items out to Johnny.

"Go outside, get some fresh air and write whatever comes to you, however it comes to you. Write it out, you might be able to understand what you're feeling a bit better" Melissa told him "Writing always helps, get some fresh air see what comes out. It might not make sense, it doesn't have to, what you feel is what you feel regardless of whether it makes sense, now go"

She pushed him out of the door before turning to the guy who was coming down the hall.

"Go get a notebook and pen, go outside, get some fresh air and write out what comes to you, however it comes to you. If you write out how you feel, you might be able to make sense of it a little more. Plus, I need to clean this apartment and I can't do that if you and Johnny are in the way" Melissa told him

He nodded and grabbed a notebook and a pen, and walked outside to join his dad. Melissa, meanwhile, went to take a shower. Once that was done, and she was dressed comfortably in a pair of cotton shorts and a t-shirt, she went about straightening up the apartment. She changed the sheets, sprayed some air freshner, did the dishes, and straightened up the rest of the apartment until it was as clean as you could get with two guys living in the house. The laundry was ready to do, and at the rate they were going, these few clothes was going to turn into a wardrobe if she didn't do laundry soon.

She was just finishing up when both Johnny and Jackson came in the house. "Well, did you get everything out?"

Johnny and Jackson nodded and set their notebooks down on the table. It was obvious they were still upset and trying hard to hide it.

"Alright boys, time to chat" Melissa sighed as she walked over to them "Look I'm going to give this to you straight. The only way we're going to get through this is by some miracle, alright? A miracle. I don't know when, but I do know that if you two could wake up and realize what the hell you're doing, you would realize that this is doing you no good, regardless of how much this might hurt. I'm not saying you'll be over it in an hour, that isn't how this works, but take it from someone who knows, moping and sulking doesn't bring her back, if anything you're just rubbing salt in that gaping wound that you two seem to have"

"So, you're saying we should grieve instead of acting like two children who didn't get their way?" Jackson translated

"Yes, now, I know this hurts, I'm just as hurt as you are, but why don't you two grown men, grieve instead of sulk over a situation you had no control over." Melissa told them "Grieving and sulking are two very different things gentleman, and right now, you're just sulking. Sulking just rubs salt in the wound, grieving will help you through this. Grieving will help you deal the fact that she's gone."

"How do we do that Mel?" Johnny asked her softly

"You stop thinking about what's happening and let what's happened sink in, because I don't think it's really sunk in that Cindy's not coming back. Stop thinking about right now, it's not important, it's not the funeral that's important, what's important is who the funeral is for, and why the funeral is happening. So the two best men that were in her life can not only grieve but also celebrate the life of the awesome woman that was Cindy Jackson. Not focusing on the little details, but focusing on Cindy and the life that you three had together, is what's important." Melissa told them "Don't think about yesterday or tomorrow, think about right now, what do you feel right now? Because I guarantee if you stop thinking and feel, you'll find, you're in more pain than you think you are, I've seen what you two are doing, you're stressing over the little details, stop doing that and start feeling whatever emotion comes to you"

Johnny was the first to break and the only solace he could find was in Melissa. She wrapped her arms around him and let him cry into her shoulder. She could almost feel the pain radiating off of him, as the reality of what was happening sank in and the grief overcame him.

"Shh, it's alright" Melissa whispered as Johnny's arms came around her stomach

* * *

Melissa sighed as she ran her hand through Johnny's hair an hour later. He was in a lot of pain, a lot more than he let on she knew, but she knew he would get through this. If anything he would find the strength that his memories of Cindy gave him and that would help him. Jackson was in the other room asleep, having broken down not forty five minutes after Johnny did. The Jackson men were in a lot pain and she was going to do everything to get them through this.

_"..Cause I'm broken, and I'm lonesome" _

* * *

**So the last line of this chapter, is from Seether's song Broken, featuring the beautiful Amy Lee, not only is she beautiful but her voice is definitely a match! You know, I don't actually know what I'm writing, I mean I know but I've never experienced first hand the pain of losing someone. I know of a lot of people I would hate to lose because I love them more than anything! Anyway, review, and if at any time, I get to a point where I have you crying through the whole chapter, than I'm really sorry! **


	8. Melissa Tries Again

Chapter Eight: Melissa Tries Again (Rated M for cutting) (Warning: Jackson might come off a little harsh in this chapter, but you'll see why as you ready, just don't freak out, if he gets a little harsh, it's for the best, I promise)

Melissa sighed as she rolled out of bed, leaving Jackson sleeping peacefully underneath the blankets. She looked back at him sadly, tears stinging her brown eyes, as she made her way to the bathroom. She hated to do this, but she knew it would be for the best. She walked into her bathroom and switched the light on, before closing the door and locking it behind her. She grabbed her razor and popped the head off. Breaking the head off, she grabbed the blade and threw the rest away.

"I'm sorry guys, this is for the best" Melissa whispered holding blade over her wrist

She pressed the sharp edge into her wrist as the tears streamed down her cheeks in hot, thick floods. She pulled the blade across her wrist, watching as the blood dripped from the wound. She smiled softly, the pain felt surprisingly good.

Jackson rolled over to feel a cool sheet instead of what should have been the warm body of Melissa. Opening his sharp blue eyes, he found light streaming under the bathroom door, bathing one part of the room in a gold light. He rolled out of bed and headed to the bathroom. When he tried to open the door, it was locked.

"Melissa, Mel, you okay sweetheart?" Jackson called sleepily rubbing his blue eyes

"GO AWAY" Melissa screamed "I don't need you"

"Babe, don't do this, open the door" Jackson called, his voice husky "Mel, open the door sweetheart, let me help you"

"Go help yourself" Melissa snapped

Jackson sighed "Okay Mel, you brought this on your self"

He body slammed the door, and knocked it open. He walked into the bathroom to find Melissa holding a razor over her already bloodied wrist. Her purple sweatpants were covered in red blood stains, and her black tank top was stained with already dried blood.

"Mel, sweetheart, what the hell are you doing?" Jackson asked her "Are you crazy?"

Melissa looked up at him "You don't need me, you never have. You already lost your mom, why not lose me too?"

Jackson walked over to her and grabbed the blade out of her hand, throwing the bloodied metal razor blade in the garbage before grabbing her other wrist and hauling her up. He turned the cold water, and stuck her wrist under the running water. He cleaned her up, and watched the crimson water run down the drain as he helped her clean her arm. After her arm was clean, and her hands were clean, he carefully treated the wound before wrapping her wrist in gauze. He walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. Grabbing a pair of his sweatpants and a different tank top, he walked back into the bathroom.

"Change, and then me and you are going to chat" Jackson muttered tossing her the clothes and walking out "Throw those in the garbage"

She sighed and quickly disposed of her bloody clothes, slipping into the sweatpants and tank top before walking out of the bathroom meekly.

"Hi" Melissa greeted softly

"Kitchen" Jackson mumbled pointing down the hall of the apartment "Go"

Melissa sighed as she walked into the kitchen and sat down at the kitchen table, Jackson behind her. He flipped on the lights before going to the sink and staring out of the window that was situated just above the sink.

"What the hell were you thinking? Trying to kill yourself again?" Jackson finally snapped, his raspy voice sounding harsher than he had originally intended "At two in the morning of all times? Were you even thinking? And now, because I just got the biggest scare of my entire life, I'm snapping and taking it out on you."

"You want to know what I was thinking, I was thinking that you don't need me anymore. You deserve someone with less emotional baggage than me, someone who can help you without breaking themself" Melissa yelled right back

"No, don't you dare go there. Mel, when I started this relationship, I knew all about you babe. We've had this chat. We each have our own emotional baggage, trust me honey I have just as much as you do if not more." Jackson snapped harshly "Trust me babe, I know all about emotional baggage, and believe me I have my own fair share of it, so don't think you're the only one with it, because believe me I have it too"

He looked at her, his blue eyes holding so much disappointment, Melissa couldn't look at him as he mumbled "I'll sleep on the couch tonight"

He walked out of the kitchen and went to the extra closet and grabbed some blankets. He walked into the bedroom and grabbed his pillow before storming back into the living room and setting himself up on the couch. Melissa watched him with tears in her eyes. She got up, flipped the lights off and stumbled back to the bedroom.

"I'm sorry" Melissa whispered as she crawled into the bed and curled up into a fetal position before pulling the blankets up over her body

Jackson never heard her apology nor did he hear her cry herself to sleep, because he was too busy trying not to be angry with her.

"She didn't want this you know" Johnny spoke up flipping on the living room lights "She didn't want this anymore than you did, but she did what she thought was best"

"Yea well it was just stupid" Jackson snapped

"Oh, Jackson, she's in pain, pain makes you do stupid things. You cut yourself once, don't you remember? You were sixteen, and some kids at school had picked on your because you spent all of your free time playing guitar. You got so depressed you cut yourself. Everyone's done it at one point or another." Johnny told him "She needs you, but like you always do, you push people away when you need them just as much as they need you. You've been pulling away from her since your mom's death, and let make this crystal clear Jackson, I'm not taking two fighting twenty-six year olds to a funeral if they're acting like they don't need each other, when they need each other more than they're willing to admit"

Jackson looked down the hall from his spot on the couch, before jumping up and racing down the hall. He rushed into the bedroom and could have cried at what he saw. Melissa was curled up under the covers, hugging her knees, with her face buried in her pillow. He crawled into bed beside her and was quick to pull her into his arms.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart" Jackson murmured as he drifted off to sleep.


	9. The Funeral

Chapter Nine: The Funeral and the Fight

The next morning, Melissa's apartment was buzzing with activity. Melissa was the first up, showered and dressed, casually in a pair of cut offs and a white off the shoulder sweatshirt, since the funeral wasn't for two hours. The night before was never mentioned and never given a second thought as usual. Although Melissa and Jackson were still tense around each other, and Johnny got the idea that it would all come out after the funeral.

"Guys, come on you have to eat breakfast" Melissa sighed as she played with her pancakes

Thirty minutes later, food had long been forgotten and they were now rushing around to get ready even though the funeral was still an hour and a half away at eleven. Melissa dressed casually but formally in a simple black wrap dress, with short sleeves and a three layer skirt, with a simple black lace camisole underneath to hide anything that was inappropriate. Johnny and Jackson each sported simple black suits with a white shirt and a sapphire blue tie. Sapphire blue was Cindy's favorite shade of blue.

They all piled into Melissa's car and drove to the church where the funeral would take place. The church with decorated with light pink and cream roses, a picture of Cindy was set up on an easel beside her casket and a bouquet of cream and pink roses was placed on top of her closed casket. Jackson's guitar was set up on a stand along with a microphone for the song he would sing later. As her friends arrived, Johnny hugged and shook hands with them, as they went to find a place to sit.

"...Now her son would like to come up and perform one of Cindy's favorite songs" The minister called to Jackson an hour into the service

Jackson stood up and walked up on stage. He grabbed his guitar and sat down on the stool.

"This was one of mom's favorite songs" Jackson spoke into the microphone

He strummed a beautiful but almost hauntingly sad melody on his guitar, as he sang into the microphone. "I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh...."

The song drifted through the room, the haunting melody of the song causing everyone to sob and cry. Melissa had never known Jackson could be so powerful when he sang that he would have everyone crying. She listened to the music, and wondered if it registered in Jackson's head just how appropriate the song was for that particular occasion. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The funeral and burial was over by two, and they back at home by three, all three of them in their pajamas as they sat around the TV, barely paying attention to what was one, but more to how the other was feeling. Melissa got up and headed toward the bathroom causing Jackson to roll his eyes.

"Going to slice up your other wrist" Jackson commented snidely

"Shut up" Melissa replied, her voice harsh and unforgiving

"Was that necessary? Or did you just pop it out there to see if Melissa would kick your ass without thinking twice?" Johnny asked his son "Because believe me, you mess with her enough, grieving or not, your ass will be kicked and you will like it"

Jackson sighed "Well"

"Well nothing, now, little suggestion since you seem to know nothing, I would go apologize and I would hope like hell she accepts it, because otherwise, well I feel sorry for you buddy" Johnny told his son, flipping through the channels absentmindedly "Oh and Jackson, watch what you say, one wrong word and your ass is grass buddy"

"Great" Jackson sighed as he stood up and head into the bathroom to apologize. "Mel, hey baby, I'm really sorry"

He banged on the bathroom door "Baby, c'mon sweetheart, I'm sorry, please forgive me"

Melissa opened the bathroom and emerged, tears streaming down her face.

"I miss her too you know" Melissa told him as he pulled her into his arms

"I know and I'm sorry. I think I understand now why you cut your wrist" Jackson told her "After she died, you felt like you were losing another parent, just like when your parents walked out on you. You felt abandoned and needed some sort of release. I'm sorry sweetheart, I should have known."

"You couldn't have, I'm not a very open person, I don't like talking about my feelings" Melissa mumbled into his neck (This is where I start relating to Melissa, I'm not an open person)

"I know that, but I should have tried to get you to talk, if I had of, we might not be in this position. Babe we're all angry and upset, and we all miss her, but instead of sulking about it, we should have talked about it" Jackson sighed sadly as he kissed her head

"So from now on, we talk" Melissa sighed into his neck

"From now on we talk" Jackson agreed, his voice tinged with all the pain and emotional trauma he'd been through

Johnny listened from the living room as they talked, their voices just loud enough that they carried. He knew they were grieving, so was he and he also knew that all three of them were dealing with it in a way that none of them should have been.

* * *

**I'm sorry, this chapter is sucky, but I've only ever been to two funerals in my entire life, both of which I have little memory of besides the fact that both of them were for siblings of my grandmothers. **

**_Preview: As the days after Cindy's death drag on, a secret is revealed about Cindy that none of them wanted to know. Jackson has a sister? _**

**_This is probably going to deal more with Jackson's emotions than any of them, most of it will be told through his eyes, how he feels about his mom's death and about the possibility that he could have a half-sister. _**

**_This last chapter was more about answering Dally2's question about why she did what she did. So I hope you liked it!_**

**_Love you, Bye Dolls!_**


	10. Jackson's sister

Chapter 10: Jackson's sister (Summary: Jackson's half-sister is revealed through a chat with Melissa. Jackson's forced to confront his denial after an explosive phone-call with Alyssa, his sister)

It had been three days since the funeral. Three days. Johnny, Jackson and Melissa had gone back to the house that Johnny had shared with Cindy for thirty years, to go through her stuff. Melissa was going through her closet with Johnny, taking photographs and carefully putting them into boxes, for a surprise she was planning for Jackson. Jackson was going through the living room, getting rid of all of his mom's old magazines, and things like that.

"How are you going to make it if he's living with you?" Johnny asked her as she boxed some photographs of Cindy

"He has band practice, every day at three, I'll do it then, shouldn't take me but a week, I'll have to make a run to the craft store to pick up some stuff, but I should be able to do it" Melissa told him

Johnny pulled down a cardboard box, that had Alyssa Marie Smith written on it.

"Oh, I forgot about this" Johnny sighed

"Who's Alyssa?" Melissa questioned looking up from her box

Johnny sighed "Alyssa, Cindy's daughter. Cindy had her two years before she met me. Me and Cindy, we were only twenty-two when we got married. We were twenty-six when we had Jackson. Cindy had Alyssa when she was twenty, Alyssa is six years older than Jackson. Cindy was very nearly raped, that's how Alyssa came to be"

"Does Jackson know about Alyssa?" Melissa asked him "And Cindy was almost raped?"

"Oh yes, Jackson knows about Alyssa, in fact, for a while there, Alyssa was the only one who could get through to Jackson. Jackson, he was a troubled teenager, he spent all of his free-time playing guitar, and while he had friends, Nathan and Eric I think his name was, he also had this knack for getting picked on, even though he could have very well bullied the same people who picked on him. Jackson though, he's just not the kind of guy and wouldn't stand up to them, he would come home sulking, and pouting and we would have to call Alyssa, who we lost contact with when Jackson turned twenty. Alyssa was the only one who could talk to him. Alyssa loved him, even though he's only her half brother." Johnny explained "After Cindy gave up Alyssa up for adoption, Alyssa was nearly sixteen before we found her again. When we did, Alyssa became very close with all of us"

"Cindy was almost raped?" Melissa questioned softly

"Yea, Alyssa's dad, Reuben, he was a bad guy. He was always doing something he shouldn't. He had been drinking since he was fifteen, and doing drugs for longer than that. One night, he almost didn't take no for an answer, until Cindy gave in. She always said that she regretted what she had done with Reuben, but never once did she regret the result, Alyssa. Her parents, they didn't let her explain. They have very strict beliefs, that their daughters should remain pure until marriage, even though Jodi, Cindy's younger sister, was anything but pure when she got married. Anyway, Cindy's parents disowned her. Two years after Alyssa was born, I met her, she was just twenty-two, paying her way through a community college, distrusting of anyone, and open to no one." Johnny explained softly "Cindy later told me that I saved her life when we met."

"Does Jackson know all of this?" Melissa asked him

"Yes, and I imagine that if I hadn't of told you, he probably would have wound up telling you" Johnny told her quietly "He really loves you, you know, he just has a hard time showing it"

"I know" Melissa sighed softly "So, do you know where Alyssa is now? She probably wants to know what happened to her mother?"

"I know" Jackson spoke up from the doorway

"Jackson" Melissa tried to talk

"It's okay, I know he told you. Dad, I know where Alyssa is. I kept in touch with her, despite Alyssa moving. She moved to Boston, she was getting married, that's why she left." Jackson told them "I have her number, and was thinking about calling her"

"Go ahead, she needs to know about her mom" Johnny told him

Jackson nodded and walked over to the bedroom, Johnny and Melissa following him. He picked the phone up and dialed a number.

"Aly, hey it's Jackson. Listen Aly, I'm about three days late with this, but there's something you need to know about Mom" Jackson spoke quietly "Aly, Mom died about a week ago from breast cancer"

He hung up "It was voice mail"

He was about to put the phone up when it rang.

"Hi Aly" Jackson greeted quietly

"Jack, what do you mean mom died?" Alyssa Marie Smith-Donaldson questioned

"Aly, calm down. Mom, she got diagnosed with breast cancer, she died about a week ago. I've been so busy that I forgot to call" Jackson told her

"You mean to tell me that my mother, my mother has been dead a week, and you forgot to call and tell me" Alyssa yelled over the phone

"Aly? She wasn't just your mother okay? She was my mom too" Jackson argued

"No, no, no. Cody Richard Jackson, you are the worst younger brother ever. Don't ever call me again. You don't have the decency to tell me that my own mother is dead, than forget it. Leave me out of whatever is going on with you and your dad. You can't even call me to tell me that my mother is dead in time for me to attend the funeral" Alyssa yelled

"We didn't know there would be a funeral, we thought she was going to be okay" Jackson yelled right back "We thought she was doing fine, so forgive me for not telling you. What did you want me to say Alyssa? Hi Aly, our mom's dead hope you can make it."

"That would have been a hell of a lot better than this" Alyssa screamed

"I didn't have a choice, you're in Boston, we're in L.A. by the time I called you and you got a plane ticket out here, you would have been at least a day late, if not more. There was no point. So forgive me Alyssa, if you weren't the very first person I thought of, while burying my mother" Jackson snapped "Forgive me if giving my mother a nice funeral was the first thing on my mind, forgive me if dealing with my mother's family was the first thing on my mind. You'll have to excuse my rudeness Alyssa, I was just burying our mom."

He slammed the phone down on the charger, and turned to Melissa, tears in his sapphire blue eyes.

"She's gone Mel" Jackson whispered "She's really gone"

Melissa sighed, as she walked over to him "You're going to get better, it all will, it just takes time. You're finally confronting what you've been denying this whole time, even at the funeral, you denied it."

She turned to Johnny "Johnny, I need you to do something. You won't like it, but you have to do it, I can't do it"

"What is it Melissa?" Johnny asked her

She grabbed his arm and pulled him away from Jackson.

"He's got to face this, he can't run away from it anymore. I need you to do something. You've got to force it on him, it'll scare him, and he won't like it, but he's got to stop running away from this. Tell him things, don't be afraid of brutal honesty, it's what he needs." Melissa told him

Johnny looked over at Jackson, who was more broken than he had ever seen his son.

"Okay"

* * *

**Whew! This monster is complete! Finito! Ah, it feels good, the next chapter will be Johnny forcing Jackson to confront the emotions he's denying. I know it seems like Jackson has accepted this whole thing, but he hasn't, and don't worry, Alyssa's not done. **

**Sneak Preview of Chapter Eleven **

_**"Jackson, she's gone. She's dead. Your mother is dead" **_

**Love You Guys, **

**2010. **


	11. Force of Grief

Chapter Eleven: Jackson (This chapter's either going to be really intense, or extremely emotional or both)

"Okay"

Johnny walked over to his son, and grabbed his arms. Forcing his son up, Johnny held him by the arms and pushed him against the wall. Johnny looked at his son, he looked confused and couldn't understand why his dad was doing this to him.

"Jackson, listen to me." Johnny whispered "Listen to me son. Your mother is gone, she's not coming back"

"No Dad, stop it" Jackson whispered venomously

"No, Listen to me. She's gone Jackson, she's not coming back" Johnny forced his son to listen

Johnny battled the conflicting emotions in his head, grief fighting with the strong urge to just give up and let his son grieve in his own way. When he saw the pain flood his son's eyes, he knew what he had to do.

"Jackson, stop it and listen to me, she's gone" Johnny mumbled through clenched teeth "She's gone your mother's dead, she's gone"

"Dad stop it" Jackson was screaming by now, and it took all of Johnny's will not to hold his 26 year old in his arms like he was a newborn baby "Stop it"

"Jackson, face it. You lost her" Johnny muttered, clenching his teeth through the pain this was bringing up as he kept his son pinned against the wall "You lost your mother"

"Dad, please, stop it" Jackson was whimpering and sobbing like a lost little boy by now

Johnny fought the tears stinging his own brown eyes as he forced his son to look at him. Melissa, fighting her own tears, held herself back, as she watched them. They were both fighting the pain, the grief, and this needed to happen.

"Johnny, back off, don't hurt him" Melissa told him "Just make him listen, don't hurt him"

"Jackson, stop fighting it. She's gone Jackson okay? She's not coming back. Stop fighting the pain" Johnny clenched his teeth as his son sobbed before calling to Melissa "Mel, I can't do this, I can't. I'm hurting him, I can't do it"

"Okay, back off" Melissa mumbled, pulling him off of Jackson "Back off, calm down a little bit"

Melissa grabbed Jackson's hands in hers and pulled him forward, "Jackson, I know that was harsh, and it probably hurt, but what you're doing, it's hurting you even worse. Denial hurts, especially when it's over the death of someone you love. Stop living in denial Jackson, it's not good for you or Johnny"

Jackson was slowly losing the battle with his emotions. One look into Melissa's brown eyes was all it took for Jackson to break. Tears flooded, sobs racked his body and the grief of his mother's death overwhelmed him.

Cody Jackson was broken.

Johnny kneeled next to his son and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"It hurts Dad. It really hurts to lose her" Jackson sobbed, his shoulders shaking with the hard, pain-filled sobs

"I know it does son, I know it does" Johnny whispered pulling his son closer out of instinct, finally letting the tears leak out of his chocolate brown eyes

Melissa sighed as she kneeled down next to Jackson and rubbed his back, as Jackson finally broke. When he looked up at her, Melissa sighed in realization.

Cody Jackson wasn't just broken; he was shattered.

* * *

**Oh my. Wow. Um WOW. How in the world did I manage to do that? This did not go in the direction I was hoping for but it worked out okay I guess. Kinda sucky. **


	12. Sunset of Memories

Chapter Twelve: A Sunset of Memories

Melissa and Johnny glanced at each other before turning back to Jackson, continuing with their quest to calm him down. He stopped sobbing, and just sat there, his blue eyes red and watery. They weren't prepared for him to jerk away and stand up. Before they could stop him, he was running out of the room and to the guest room. He walked outside onto the balcony that came off of the guest room. When Melissa and Johnny found him there, they knew why he had suddenly pulled away from them. The sun was starting to set, and that was Cindy and Jackson's favorite time of day.

Jackson watched with tired, watery, bloodshot eyes as the sky exploded in shades of red, orange, yellow, pink, purple and blue. The sun was starting to sink behind the horizon, the last warm rays casting shadows and giving the trees a warm golden glow, as night settled over Las Angeles. Red, orange and yellow created the illusion of flames licking at the sky, pink streaked the sky from the sun glowing behind the clouds. Shades of dark purple, and dark blue, evidence that night was starting to settle over Las Angeles. The city skyline was outlined in a yellow-gold color, and the moon was quickly becoming visible as a silver sliver in the clouds. The explosive mixture of colors reminded Jackson of his mom's favorite oil painting, one she had picked up a few years ago. Lights were quickly becoming a golden-orange glow, and the day was steadily turning into night, as more and more stars became visible. He was once again reminded of why he loved this time of day so much. Sunsets were something he always shared with his mom, and the sunset was bringing back some of his fondest memories.

_Flashback- _

_"Mommy, mommy" 4 year old Cody Jackson called to his laughing mother as she sprayed him with the water hose "The water's cold" _

_"That's because the sun's going down and the day's getting cooler, the water's getting colder" Cindy explained to her son turning the water off, and pointing to the darkening sky "See, look at the sunset" _

_He looked up at the sky, and watched with amazement as it exploded with color, his blue eyes widening as he looked over at his mother who was watching with just as much excitement as he was. _

_"I love you mommy" Cody whispered kissing his mother's cheek _

_"I love you too Cody" Cindy smiled kissing her son's blonde head _

_End Flashback-_

Jackson shook his head as he continued watching the night sky, more memories hitting him full force.

_Flashback-_

_"Alright Cody, c'mon, you have homework" Cindy reminded a 10 year old Cody, "Let's go" _

_"Aw but Mom, I wanted to watch the sunset with you" Cody whined as he begrudgingly followed his mom into the house _

_"Honey, the sunset isn't for an hour, plenty of time to get that homework done, now go" Cindy pointed to the kitchen table where his homework was waiting _

_Sure enough an hour later, he was done with his homework, and was sitting on the porch swing with his mom, watching the sky explode in a burst of color. _

_"I love you Mom" Cody whispered his eyes drooping as his head fell on his mother's shoulder _

_"I love you too Cody" Cindy whispered _

_End Flashback- _

Jackson felt the tears coming on full force as more memories of his mom and sunsets. As day turned to night, the blue sky turned to a dark purple sky and the stars shone like diamonds against a bed of velvet. The moon casting a light silverish glow on the city, and reflecting in Jackson's sapphire blue eyes. The stars twinkled, reminding Jackson of his mom's own blue eyes, which twinkled all the time.

_Flashback- _

_"Mom" 16 year old Cody Jackson whispered as they sat out in the backyard watching his mom stare at the sky _

_Cindy looked over at her son "What is it baby?" _

_"I really am sorry for earlier, I didn't mean to scare you" Jackson whispered to his mom _

_Cindy grabbed her son's bandaged wrist, and fingered it gently "Baby, you scared me, but I've learned that if I wasn't scared for you all the time, I wouldn't be a mother. That's what we do, we worry about our children all the time, that's what makes us Mom. So you made a mistake, that's what makes you human" _

_"I love you Mom" Cody smiled at his mother _

_"I love you too Baby" Cindy smiled over at her son, her sapphire blue eyes twinkling in the light of the golden sunset _

_End Flashback- _

Jackson wiped his eyes, and thought about the last time, he watched the sunset with his mother, it had been a week before she was diagnosed with cancer.

_Flashback- _

_25 year old Cody Jackson laughed with his mom as they watched the sunset again with his mom, like they had been doing every day since he was four. _

_"Son, I really am proud of you, you know that right" Cindy told her son _

_"I know mom" Cody laughed, smiling at his mom _

_Cindy smiled as she leaned on her son's shoulder. _

_"I love you Mom" Cody smiled kissing his mom's head _

_"I love you too Son" Cindy smiled, her sapphire blue eyes once again twinkling in the light of the golden sunset _

_End Flashback- _

That had been the last time they had watched the sunset before she was diagnosed with cancer, and they couldn't watch it anymore. She had reacted unusually to the chemotherapy, and had become prone to sunburns, even during the sunset. He was surprised he could remember the last time they watched the sunset, through the flood of emotions racing through his brain. He had been running on auto-pilot since her death, and he knew if she were here, she would be saying that he needed to get his act together, and live his life, before it ended.

Cindy's motto was always, live life to the fullest, before and even after she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She said it like she knew would have breast cancer, like she knew it would take her life, and like she knew how her son would take it.

* * *

It was nearly ten before he came back in the house and walked back into the bedroom, where Melissa was sitting up in bed, wearing a t-shirt and gym shorts, reading a book. He walked over and crawled in beside her, choosing to just lay there and watch her read, her focus never once shifting from the book as she reached over and started running her fingers through his blonde hair.

"Did you enjoy the sunset?" Melissa asked him a few minutes later as she closed her book and set it on the nightstand

Jackson nodded "It reminded me of mom"

"You'll always remember her you know. Whether or not, you think you will, you'll always remember her" Melissa reminded him gently "She just won't be here physically."

"I know" Jackson sighed as he closed his blue eyes briefly

Melissa smiled and took off her reading glass, setting them on her bedside table before turning off the lamp and settling down in the bed, letting Jackson pull her closer. She listened to him breath, and let it soothe her asleep. As she drifted off, she could have sworn she heard Jackson mutter four simple words.

"I love you, mom" Jackson whispered as he closed his eyes and drifted off

* * *

**This chapter was actually inspired by my love of sunsets and sunrises. I figured I would use that to give you a little inside into Jackson's childhood. The last part of this chapter, where the day is slowly turning into night, is actually inspired by my love of watching the sky at night, I'm a total insomniac so watching the sky helps lol!**

**reviews are welcome, flames are not. Love ya!!!**


	13. Laughter Really is the Best Medicine

Chapter Thirteen: Laughter

Melissa laughed as she jumped out of bed and raced through the apartment, Jackson hot on her trail and laughing just as hard, a sound that Johnny nor Melissa had heard in a while and were glad to hear. Jackson had overcome the grief that accompanied his mother's death, and was now focusing on the good aspects of life, like chasing his girlfriend around her apartment, while his dad laughed over the batch of pancakes he was cooking.

"Gotcha Mel" Jackson laughed as he grabbed her waist, and pulled her back, into his chest

Melissa laughed as he tickled her ribs and buried his face in her orchid scented hair. Jackson had noticed when Melissa changed scents, and seemed to like orchids, although Melissa seemed to think it had more to do with the fact that he loved orchids because of his mom, he still complimented her on the scent daily.

"You smell good" Jackson murmured into her soft black hair as he stopped tickling her ribs to wrap his arms around her

He kissed her head before grabbing her hips and spinning her around. He held her by the waist and quickly found her lips in a passionate kiss. The first real kiss they had shared since his mom's death and even before that. Melissa sighed as she threaded her fingers through his blonde hair and pulled him closer.

"Jackson, Mel, breakfast is ready" Johnny's call, and lack of air forced them break apart

They both chuckled at the other's disheveled appearance and quickly straightened up to go eat breakfast, neither able to hide the red, swollen lips from Johnny, who just chuckled and handed them both a plate of pancakes.

"Go eat, and do try to keep your lips off of each other, eat your pancakes, not each other" Johnny chuckled as he followed them to the table and sat down to eat his pancakes

For once, breakfast time was filled with bickering, bantering and laughter, something that hadn't been all that prevalent in the apartment for a quite a while. Johnny and Jackson were both overcoming their grief, and Melissa was slowly finding her way back into a routine that did not include two broken guys.

As the day wore on, they found themselves doing pointless things to pass the time, and by the time six rolled around, the three of them were sprawled in front of the TV, chinese containers on the coffee table, and Armageddon on the TV.

"I still say Steven Tyler should have had at least a cameo in this movie, I mean he did do one of the main songs for it" Jackson argued with Melissa

"Only because Liv asked him too. I guarantee if it hadn't of been for her, Aerosmith never would have touched that song" Melissa argued "They were too hard-edged and cocky to even think about a song like that. Sweet Emotion and Walk this Way being perfect examples of just how cocky Aerosmith was"

"They are the Bad Boys of Boston Mel" Jackson reminded her

"Oh yea, they're bad boys alright, but Boston isn't even close to where they come from" Melissa grumbled "To far north"

"Are you trash talking the God-like band that is Aerosmith?" Jackson asked her

"No, I'm just saying, that Aerosmith was too hard-edged, cocky and a little too bad-a&& to have even thought about this song. Liv Tyler convinced her father to do it, and if it hadn't of been for her, someone else would have wound up doing it, because let's face it, Steven Tyler is cocky" Melissa argued

Johnny chuckled as they argued over a trivial subject "Glad to know you two haven't changed at all"

"Yes they would have" Jackson argued

"Are you kidding me? Steven Tyler and Joe Perry thinking about doing this song without the persuasion of Liv Tyler? I think you've got them mixed up with Lifehouse. Lifehouse probably would have done it had they been around at the time. Steven Tyler and Joe Perry are called the Toxic Twins for a reason and it isn't because of their slow ballads" Melissa argued "Steven Tyler can be the jerk from hell when he wants to be, and when he doesn't want to do something, he doesn't do something and I bet that if his daughter hadn't of been in the movie, he never would have even looked at this song before giving it the boot"

"Guys, be quiet and watch the movie, argue later" Johnny chuckled breaking up the fighting pair

Jackson and Melissa stopped fighting and turned back to the movie while Johnny just laughed at how they could fight one minute and be sweet with each other the next.

* * *

Melissa giggled as Jackson pinned her to the bed and kissed her neck. The giggle soon turned into a moan as he found the sensitive spot on her neck.

"Jackson" Melissa moaned as he sucked on that spot

His lips soon found hers again, and he found himself releasing her wrists as he was drawn deeper into the kiss. The simple kiss soon turned into a furious make out session, with Jackson's shirt finding it's way to the floor, and Melissa pressing her body into his, her legs wrapping around his waist. She rolled them over so that she was on top, and moved her hips in a slow grinding motion that left them both breathless. Once they realized that they were starting to go to far into previously unventured territory, they stopped and settled for just laying in the bed.

It wasn't long before they were both asleep, wrapped up in each other's arms.

* * *

**This is chapter thirteen, the ending was a little more sexual than usual, but that's okay, I like that. **


	14. The Return of the Sister and the Pain

Chapter Fourteen: Alyssa Returns (Alyssa shows up at the apartment at three in the morning, and brings Jackson's anger full circle.)

Jackson groaned loudly as he awoke to the sound of someone trying to beat the door in, with their fists. He kissed Melissa's head, gently untangled himself from her and stood up. He started out of the bedroom, grabbing his black t-shirt as he went. He grumbled and cursed under his breath as he stumbled through the living room, and flung the door open.

"Cody Richard Jackson" A whirlwind of blonde-brown hair flew past him and into the living room, her tennis shoes squeaking against Melissa's tile floor and then growing silent as she hit the carpeted living room.

"Alyssa?" Jackson questioned as he chased after her "Alyssa Marie Smith, one, why are you here? two where did you get this address and three, Go home to your husband."

"I looked you up, I found you in the phone book, and then I go to your house to find you not there so I drove around town until I saw your dad's car" Alyssa told him rolling her eyes at her brother's stupidity. "Oh and it's Alyssa Marie Benson now."

"Alyssa, it is three in the morning, my girlfriend is asleep, my dad is asleep and I was asleep, so for the love of my sanity, go home or back to your hotel room and wait until a decent hour." Jackson grumbled "I don't have the brain power to deal with psychotic sister at this ungodly hour so please get out."

"No." Alyssa snapped harshly

"Oh for the love of..." Jackson trailed off, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger "Alyssa, I really don't have the patience to deal with you."

"So who's the skank you're shacked up with?" Alyssa asked him rudely

"Excuse me? Her name is Melissa, and I'll have you know she isn't a skank. She's a nurse, and a far better one than you'll ever be." Jackson snapped

"Did mom know you were living with her?" Alyssa asked him "Whatever her name is."

"She moved me in." Jackson snapped "Look Lys, Mom was really sick and there for a while me, Mel and Dad were all she had. Her family wouldn't come down and up until the other day, I didn't even think you remembered that mom did in fact exist."

"What do you mean? Of course I know that Mom did in fact exist." Alyssa snapped

"Could have fooled me. Alyssa, you never sent her a Mother's Day, Birthday or even a Christmas present or even a card. Where were you when she needed you? You were in Boston or Baltimore or wherever the hell it is you live now, unable to be reached because you were off to New York with your husband." Jackson snapped "I tried calling you, but crap if I knew what state or even what continent you were on."

"You could have left me a message." Alyssa snapped harsher than intended

"I tried Alyssa Marie, I tried hard. I tried leaving you a message, I left you the number to Mom's hospital, my number, hell I even left you Dad's number but no, I didn't get a hold of you until a week after she had died." Jackson snapped right back

"Obviously not, there was never a message on my machine or my cell phone." Alyssa told him loudly

"Cell phone? Alyssa I didn't even know you had a cell phone. There was a message or did your dear sweet husband delete it before you could get it? You couldn't pick a decent man if he came up and gave you his entire biography and background check." Jackson snapped sarcastically

"Like mom could? If she could she wouldn't have married your father." Alyssa snapped only to regret it when her brother's eyes turned hard and cold.

"Get out. Don't give me all this bullcrap about my father, he is still my father." Jackson snapped wrenching the door open violently.

Alyssa looked at him, the hard, icy look in his eyes told her all she needed to know. She had said the wrong thing and was no longer welcome in his apartment or his life.

"I want you out of this house, out of this city, out of this state and most of all, I want you out of my life Alyssa Marie." Jackson snapped motioning for her to leave

Alyssa hung her head and walked out of the apartment, tears slipping out of her icy blue eyes as she listened to the door slam shut behind her. She slid down the nearest wall and buried her face in her knees finally releasing all the pent up anger and grief that had yet to bubble to the surface. Little did she know, on the other side of the door she had just walked out of, her half-brother and best friend was doing the same thing.

"Go to her, she hasn't left yet." Melissa spoke up from the door way of the living room

"What?" Jackson asked, looking up at Melissa "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to know that three in the morning is not the best time to have a rational conversation with your sister. Look she's grieving, angry and hurt, remember Jackson you've been there before, so don't give me that bullcrap that she has no idea because remember she was adopted, and now she finds out her birth mother is dead, and her brother didn't bother to tell her. She's hurt, and grieving and she said things that she didn't mean, and only her brother who she loves so incredibly much can take away his sister's pain." Melissa told him softly kneeling in front of him "You may have been angry and screaming at each other at three in the morning, but the bond is obviously there. Go, she hasn't left yet."

Jackson scrambled up and fumbled to get the door open, racing out of the apartment as he did so. Just like Melissa had said, she hadn't left and was instead sitting against the wall opposite of the apartment, her face in her knees, sobs racking her tiny body.

"Lys, hey, Lys I'm really sorry about what I said in there, I didn't mean it." Jackson sank down beside his sister as he spoke. "You're my sister, always. I don't care if I'm just your half-brother, or even you're step-brother, I'm still your brother and you're still my sister, and right now, my sister needs me."

Alyssa looked up and from looking at her, Jackson found it hard to believe she was the older one. Her icy blue eyes were tear-filled and looked so innocent, and the look on her face broke his heart. He opened his arms and let his sister crawl into them.

"You're grieving, hurt and angry and I understand that. If I hadn't of been wrapped up in myself, I would have realized that." Jackson whispered rubbing his sister's back "I'm sorry."

"I know you are, I'm sorry too." Alyssa whispered keeping her arms around her brother "I'm sorry about what I called your girlfriend. I heard what she told you."

"Yea, she has a knack for being able to knock some sense into my thick head." Jackson chuckled "Look, go back to your hotel, get some sleep, and tomorrow, I'll take you to Mom's grave, and we'll figure out where to go from there."

Alyssa nodded and carefully pulled away from her brother. Jackson stood up and helped his sister up. Alyssa gave him one last hug before walking down the hall and disappearing into the elevator. Jackson watched her go, his blue eyes following his sister's every move.


	15. AN

**I'm so so so sorry! I was going to update but I have had a CRAZY month! I spent one weekend a couple of weeks ago at the hospital with my mom! Then these past two weeks, I've been taking care of her, while my Dad works and I've been crazy busy and a little tired, but now she's starting to be able to take care of herself again so I'm not as busy so I'll try to update soon, but for a couple of weeks now, my Mom has been my number one priority, because my family comes first. **

**Love Ya, **

**MissAngelDust2010**


	16. Talk with Melissa

Chapter Fifteen: Fights

When Jackson stumbled back into the apartment, tired and fumbling for answers to the questions racing through his head, Melissa had already gone back to bed, but had left a note on the coffee table. He scooped up the piece of paper and read the note, written in Melissa's loopy hand writing.

_Jackson- _

_I already went to bed. You're probably tired, and ready to come back to bed. Tomorrow, you need to sit down and talk rationally with your sister, and by talk, I do mean talk, not scream. You know where to find me. I love you, keep that mind. _

_Love, _

_Mel_

He couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips, as he set the piece of paper back on the coffee table, and headed for the guest room where his girlfriend was curled up asleep. When he walked in, he found her curled into her pillow on her stomach, her tank top was riding up, revealing her back, and the comforter stopped at her waist. The fan she kept by the bed blew cool air across her shoulders, and it was obvious she hadn't heard him come in. He closed the door and crawled into bed with her, pulling her closer to him. Her deep, even breathing soothed him to sleep as he buried his face in her hair, the sweet scent of her strawberry-orchid shampoo lingering as he fell asleep.

It was almost ten before either of them thought about getting out of bed. Melissa stumbled into the shower, while Jackson stumbled to the kitchen to get his caffeine fix before he collapsed. Once he had caffeine in his system and Melissa was out of the shower, Jackson stumbled into the shower to get ready for the long, emotional day he was about to face. Melissa was just about to sip her coffee when a knock sent her running to the front door.

"Hi" Melissa greeted the blue eyed blonde on the other side "Alyssa?"

"Yea, you must be Melissa?" Alyssa guessed

"That would be me, come on in, Jackson went to shower." Melissa explained inviting her in "You want some coffee?"

"Please?" Alyssa requested following the wet-haired Asian into the living room

Alyssa watched as Melissa casually tugged her wet black hair into a messy bun, and reached for the coffee mugs.

"You know, he would have called you, but Jackson seems to have his own way of dealing with things." Melissa spoke softly, setting the mug of coffee in front of Alyssa

"I know, he always has." Alyssa sighed sadly

"I don't deal with things any more than he does." Melissa chuckled softly

"I just wish he would open up a little more." Alyssa admitted, finding the Asian surprisingly easy to talk to

"I don't think he knows how, at least not in a way that not uncomfortable for him." Melissa told her leaning against the counter "Look, Jackson's the kind of guy, like most guys, he hates talking about his feelings. It makes him feel exposed and vulnerable, like everyone's judging him for the way he feels. He may seem distant and closed off at first, but that's only because he hates having to talk about his feelings, just give him time and eventually he'll open up."

"How do you know so much about him?" Alyssa asked her

"I'm a certified nurse but in college, I majored in pyschology, or as my father would say, the softest science in existence. Look, it doesn't take a psychologist to tell you that Jackson's just the kind of guy who keeps his feelings bottled up until he explodes. I used to do the same thing, heck, I still do it. It's just the way some people are." Melissa explained "It helps if you know how to read him. When I was a teenager, I had almost the same way of feeling and thinking that he does now, I felt things but I never thought about those feelings or even where they're coming from."

"Did you ever cut yourself like he did?" Alyssa asked her softly

"Several times, twice when I was teenager. Then again a little over a month ago after an explosive fight with my parents, that incident broke the lock on my bedroom door. Then I did it again just a couple of days ago, just before Cindy's funeral. I was stressed out, my emotions were running wild to a point that it got hard for me to tell anybody what I was feeling, so I resorted to the one thing I knew for sure I could feel, physical pain." Melissa told her softly "Sometimes, you get so crazy with how you feel, that you resort to the only thing you know for sure you can feel, and that physical pain comes from whatever kind of self mutilation you choose. As it turns out, both me and your brother like to cut our wrists with sharp objects."

"I never cut myself but I wanted to so bad, gah, it was right after I left him. I had just found him and then I got engaged and we moved to Boston and I felt like that big sister who ran out on her baby brother because some guy got in the way." Alyssa admitted

"Hon, we all do things we regret. Sometimes though, those choices can lead to a wonderful thing. If anything about my teenage years were too change, I probably wouldn't have even met your brother. Look, when we make a choice, we either get rewarded for that choice, or we live to regret it. A few mistakes now and then, that's normal, but hating yourself for it, ten years later, not normal, no matter how big the mistake." Melissa told her "Look, how you choose to live your life, that's your business, but why regret something that was just life. Would you still be the same person had you not made the choices you did?"

"No probably not." Alyssa told her softly sipping her coffee

"Then don't regret meeting your brother, or leaving him. Look you didn't want to leave him and I bet he gets that, but when you get married, certain sacrifices have to be made and from what Jackson and Johnny, both told me, you were a good sister. You didn't abandon him, you got married. Abandonment and moving are two very different things Alyssa. You moved to Boston and yes you left your brother, but honey, that isn't abandoning him, you're regretting something that never happened." Melissa explained

"Hey Sweetheart." Jackson greeted, walking into the kitchen

"Hey Jackson." Melissa greeted leaning up to kiss him

"Hi Alyssa." Jackson greeted softly

"Alright you guys, take some coffee and go visit your mother's grave, get the closure you both desperately need." Melissa smiled as she slipped out of the room

"So.." Alyssa started

"Look, this is awkward okay? Just say it. You're still angry, but you don't want to admit it." Jackson muttered sipping his coffee

"You're right, I am angry." Alyssa finally snapped

"About what? You know Mom's dead, you know she won't be back and apparently, you can't find it in yourself to be even slightest bit sad about that little tidbit." Jackson growled angrily

"I'm sorry, I can't get past the fact that my brother, who I thought loved me, waited a whole week to tell me that she was dead." Alyssa screeched

"Always coming back to the same old thing aren't you Alyssa? You hold grudges better than anyone I know. " Jackson snarled "Let it go, it's done, it's over with."

"Jackson, Alyssa." Melissa called sternly walking into the kitchen "Is this how you acted when you were younger? Like three year olds who needed to be sent to a corner?"

Jackson hung his head and Alyssa looked a little scared as Melissa continued "I swear I leave you alone for five minutes and you're already fighting worse than cats and dogs. What do I need to do referee you two? Now will you please, go visit your mother's grave and act like decent human beings."

"Yes Ma'am" Alyssa and Jackson chorused a little scared

**Chapter Sixteen coming right up**


	17. Fly to the Angels

Chapter Sixteen: The Cemetery

Ten minutes later, Jackson and Alyssa were in his car on the way to the cemetary. The ride to the cemetary where she was buried was more than a little awkward as after the last few days, both Jackson and Alyssa were unsure of what to say to each other. Jackson finally pulled into the cemetary parking lot and quickly got out of the car.

"C'mon, she's over here." Jackson mumbled leading Alyssa to the far left of the cemetary

He led her over to the tall Angel statue and pointed to the headstone.

_Cindy Marie Jackson _

_April 15th, 1958 to May 28th, 2010 _

_A loving and devoted wife, daughter, sister and mother _

_Loved and Missed by All _

_"..Fly to the Angels.." _

"Fly to the Angels?" Alyssa asked her brother

"It was her favorite song, by Slaughter, she used to tell me to fly to the angels when I couldn't sleep." Jackson told her

"How does the song go?" Alyssa asked him

"Pictures of you, oh they're still on my mind. You had the smile that could light up the world. Now it rains, it seems the sun never shines. And I'll drive down, this lonely, lonely road." Jackson sang softly "Ooh I got this feelin', girl, I gotta let you go. 'Cause now you've got to fly, fly to the Angels. Heaven awaits your heart and flowers bloom in your name."

"You've got to fly, fly to the Angels." Alyssa came in quietly, her voice soft and almost musical in quality "All the stars in the night, shine in your name. You know it hurts me, way deep inside, when turn and look and find that you're not there. I try to convince myself, that the pain, the pain.."

"It's still not gone." They finished the song together, their eyes locked in a strong gaze

They broke the gaze and turned back to the headstone.

"I named my daughter after her." Alyssa finally told him softly "Her name is Cindy Leigh. I couldn't help it-I was at a bad time in my life, and she reminded me so much of mom and that's what I needed until I figured that naming her after Mom would bring me that much closer to mom."

Jackson nodded in understanding, reaching over to wrap an arm around his sister.

"Jackson?" Alyssa spoke softly, her voice almost inaudible in the wind

"What is it Aly?" Jackson asked her softly

"It never gets easier does it?" Alyssa asked him, tears leaking out of blue-gold eyes

The question hit him harder than he expected, as he watched his sister crumble in front of their mother's grave. He knew the answer to that question, the question that had made him crumble worse than Alyssa was crumbling now.

He kneeled down next to her, wrapped his arms around her and brought her close to his chest "No Aly, no it doesn't."

He stroked her hair and kissed her head, trying not to let her see him cry, like he so desperately wanted to at the moment. He buried his face in her dirty blonde hair and finally let the tears fall. The hot, salty liquid soaked the top of her head, as it streamed from his sapphire blue eyes.

"It doesn't get easier."

**I know it's short but I haven't written for this story much, but I've had one hell of a summer, my mom was in the hospital, now she's going to the dentist, my sister was in the hospital, I've been kind of trapped in the middle. **

**I'm really sorry, but chapter seventeen is going to be the last chapter. **


End file.
